Well it’s that time of year again. The ridiculous commercials are on TV and radio and a wide variety of tiny chocolate bars line the aisles at the grocery stores. This is the time of year when you decide what we “won’t be dressing up as”. We all have illusions of grandeur whenever Halloween rolls around. Every year I vow to dress up as a realistic zombie-
or zombie nurse, or Dog the Bounty Hunter with my chesty wife as my chesty Beth.
Sometimes I wanna be silly and just dress up as a cow.. that’s also a deejay. This year I had my sights set simple on a Matt Smith-esque Doctor Who complete with tweed jacket, red suspenders and a bow tie- because, let’s face it- bow ties are cool. I did get stumped by my sonic screwdriver though..
Despite all my daydreaming of gasps and awes upon my entrance in to a room, (surely having the best costume in the house), my finances don’t allow me to indulge in costumes and instead I usually just go as my bitter old self. I still get excited though once I start seeing overwhelming amounts of orange in the stores; when the red and orange leaves leave their homes for the year in a mad dash to the ground to be part of the over all natural life cycle of the deciduous tree. The crunching under your feet of dried leaf matter literally becoming instant shoe mulch with each step in the fresh crisp air of fall. Pumpkins begin making their ways to people’s porches adding a pretty accent to the fallen leaves in the yard. Soon the smells of wood burning fireplaces and wood stoves take over the night air – that itself is yet another beauty of the season. Soon the children (although increasingly fewer as we live a world far too plugged in) will be on the streets in little groups of undead, super heroes, witches and ghosts. They will be carrying plastic pumpkins and pillowcases PACKED with sugar… which I want..
The moment I see the first bag of tiny assorted chocolate bars and unnaturally small bags of potato chips (each bag contains approximately 5 chips each) my inner child comes out and all I can think about is how to get that candy. I do have a friend who is very tiny in stature, I asked Dinah if she would be so kind to “help a bitch out” and allow me to walk her around the city- she’s still thinking I guess as I have yet to get a response.
Unable to attend a much anticipated party thrown by my brother and sister in law due to very needy dogs one of which with terrible separation anxiety I… wait.. the dogs! Who wouldn’t give treats to a wiener dog in a bumble bee costume?? This could be it.. I am off to the sewing machine!
P.S Anyone else wanna volunteer as my Halloween candy bitch? Leave comments below.
Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,