The Reluctant Writer…

This originally appeared on my blog at Bubblews   http://www.bubblews.com/news/3257373-the-reluctant-writer

 

ImageI’ve avoided writing the last few days. I felt like I had nothing of value to say. Do you ever feel like that? You avoid writing like the plague because you’re afraid of being met with a blank screen and a blinking cursor that mocks you as it ticks the seconds of your life away? I did have have a busy couple of days but let’s be honest, I’m even blow smoke up my own ass. Why do we make excuses? Let us just call a spade a spade: “I’m afraid of failing today.” The knowledge that if something unforeseeable were to happen to me today, the last thing people would remember me by would be this piece of crap I’m trying to pass off as a viable modestly written piece of nothingness to be shared without caution in to the vast blogosphere.

What is this tiny fragment of self doubt that looms over some of us? Is it because I was formula fed rather than breast fed? Because of a lack of security and a solid foundation of confidence growing up? Or is it just plainly my ego surfacing to make me want to represent myself as a strong, intelligent woman? Could it be my weaker alter ego reminding me that I am indeed, “not a unique snow flake”?

I sometimes feel like there’s 2 or 3 different people inside my brain all vying for control over my thoughts and actions. One keeps me down with thoughts of fear and self loathing, one tells me I’m far better than I truly am and one just wants to play with my dogs and forget writing all together.

Maybe it’s fear. Fear of spilling some dark deeply hidden truth about ourselves that we want no one to know. Like it’s possible that some outside entity will force us into revealing some clandestine notion to our peers that would instantly make people hate us. Is it simply this trepidation or possibility that we will indeed reveal too much of ourselves to the outside world.

Whatever the reason may be, I need to take power away from my fears and simply write what I want, however I feel that day, whether it be upbeat, positive and funny or downright depressing and scary.

Do you go through these periods too?

Live Humbly, Be Fearless, Live Genuinely,

Sparky

Image Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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About SparkyLeeGeek

I'm a cheesy broad with a good sense of humor. I'm also a self professed geek, dog lover, Whovian and music snob. I have earned money by painting, I've worked in call centers, with dogs and in the fitness industry. I also write for Bubblews http://www.bubblews.com/account/165359-sparkylee74 and I have 2 separate blogs on Blogger: "My Whovian Take" a blog dedicated to Doctor Who and "Life in Fog Goggles" a blog dedicated to daily life and living with Fibromyalgia and CFIDS. I will be featured in an upcoming Anthology for HorrorAddicts.net titled "The Horror Addict's Guide to Life" My interests range from Doctor Who, dogs, and Science Fiction to Zombies, Humor and Astronomy. Creativity is my passion.
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3 Responses to The Reluctant Writer…

  1. grodland says:

    In addition to my blog, I am writing a novel, and I write as part of my day job, so yes, I definitely have days when I don’t think I can write, or fear my writing will suck. And yet I have other days when I can sit down and crank out 12-15 pages of excellent writing at a time. Like everything else, that ability comes in cycles, so I don’t beat myself up about it anymore–I used too–now I just go with the flow.
    One thing I do is schedule time weekly to write, saturday mornings, as in right now. then even if I don’t think I can write or have anything to say, I start writing about exactly that–my inability to write and what I am experiencing at the moment, and nine times out of ten, it turns into something I can use on my blog. Even though that time is really set aside for working on my novel, it’s ok if it turns into a blog post. It’s still productive and cathartic.
    Keep writing. And sharing.
    Best Wishes,
    g_ROD

    • Thank you so much, I know I need to set out a schedule and set up a dedicated writing space in my home. I so want to write a novel myself but lack discipline. Good luck with yours and thank you for reading! Cheers 🙂

    • Great advice my friend, I think I’ll take it! Thank you so much for reading and good luck with that book! Cheers 🙂

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